Growing up

Well, my first baby, Gavin, is 11 years old now. Honestly hard to believe. I know how cliche'ed it sounds, but it really does seem like I just brought him home from the hospital yesterday. He is SUCH a good kid. He's quiet, kind, empathetic, caring, sensitive. Sure, he has his moments, but I can't believe how lucky I got with a kid as genuinely good as him. He's staring Middle School in the fall and of course I am worried about so many things-- him being bullied, being exposed to alcohol and drugs, girls, you know.

Oh my- I just found this draft of a post I started 3 YEARS ago! Gavin is starting high school in 2 days. Time really gets away, doesn't it?

Kindness

So it's said that people won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel....and I know that this is something I really need to work on. Growing up, I learned to be venomous with my words, to strike deep in defense. I was taunted and teased by kids and emotionally, verbally, and, at times, physically abused by my mother. I was small, and weak, and my voice, my words were all I had to strike back with. Oh, I took the teasing and abuse for many years before finding my voice....but once I found it, I realize that it hurts people way too much. Ironically, as cruel as I can be with my words, I am excessively empathetic and end up feeling terrible when my words or actions made others feel badly. This is a character flaw I have struggled with for many years and am trying to do better. Every year my New Year's Resolution is to "stop cussing and be kinder". And every year, I don't think I do nearly as well as I should. I will continue, though, because I don't want my legacy to be "the girl who makes people feel shitty".....